Presbymom

Wow - I still have a blog out here. Oops, it's been a while. I am sitting at home listening to the hammers as my floor is reinstalled. I am blessed that insurance covered the damage I did by leaving a sink on, but I am annoyed that I am trapped at my house for a week while repairs are underway. Life is in an unusual limbo period while I am awaiting a call. The economy is working against me. I value the time with my children and family but struggle with personal identity and keeping spirituality in place. Patience must be the lesson that I am learning - or need to learn, or something! God has a plan - maybe the plan for now is that I wait and enjoy the downtime.

God is good! I am constantly running from thing to thing yet remain reassured that God is all around holding my little whirlwind of a life together in His hands. I remind myself of the Tasmanian Devil from cartoons zooming off a cliff and picture God carefully thumping me back in the right direction or giving me a wall to bounce off of just before I go careening over the edge. Family is good for relaxing by the lake with no thought about the ever-present to do list. My children and husband are the safe reservoirs that rejuvenate me. I am ready for a break to slow down and can see it coming SOON! AMEN!!

It has been a while since I have posted anything out here. I have been enjoying the summer with the children. I find it amazing and exhilirating yet the time flies - what have I really done? Not much if you look at the tasks but worlds if you look at the young faces. I am back to just attending church - how relaxing. So far, I have put off the call for volunteer work for the most part. In two and a half weeks, I have exercised with my son and daughter, watched swim meets and a baseball game. The rain has really bitten into the sporting events, but we spend hours at the indoor pools working on dives, strokes and flips. both kids make me really proud. I have also listened and listened and listened to the frustrated hormone speak of a 9 year old! When did adolescence move back this far? I am exhausted but glad that I can be here for her - well most of the time I am glad. My 6 year old son and I had a talk about understanding girls and why they "Wig out" - yeesh! Ministry inte...

I feel as if I am a lame duck in that weird part of a job where everyone knows that you are leaving. All of the work that you do is questionable because people wonder if you cared enough to do it right - or wonder why you did it at all. So, I concentrate on other stuff! My daughter is doing yet another ballet recital. She looks so much more mature than in the others - and this year it actually looks like dancing instead of children thrashing about on a stage. It makes me sad and proud. My son's soccer team finished their season undefeated - gasp, I am still adjusting to the whole idea that I am actually a soccer mom for real! Ah well, I guess it is time to ante up and join the gym so that I don't look too much like that soccer mom in the stands with a ding dong and coffee....

This has been a big week. I passed my preaching exam with Presbytery and was at an all-time high only to turn around on Tuesday and be out and out lambasted in e-mail by a member of the church who is disgruntled and unhappy with his shrinking volunteer role. He was truly angry that the church is reducing (and sharing with others) what he views as his territory. I guess that losing control of things is always hard, but why do people have to be so mean when they think you are the threat? Or just the least powerful component of the threatening organization. Isn't a church supposed to be the place of a non-dysfunctional family. why does it sometimes seem to be the opposite. It is the place where people feel safe exposing all of their nastiness. Safe yes - nasty no! hat is not how or who we are called to be with one another. I stay sane by volunteering for pieces that excite and interest me. I am blessed by many along my journey. I felt wrapped in warmth and support on Sunday. I think ...

Yawn! Slowly awakening with the new day. There is such creativity and art all around me. I feel inadequate. Eater and spring bring rejuvenation, but I am not there yet. Now more than ever I want a nap and a vacation. Is it the church, kids' with too many activities or just stagnancy in my creative outlets? hmmm Another cool note - I listened to a wonderful presentation on recycling with worms. The whole concept that is really neat. You put this bin under your sink with worms in one layer. The worms eat all biodegradible materials leaving you with fertilizer tea, no smell - they promise. I may have to look into this some more for my summer project.

Well, here I go off to the glorious land of East Texas - with a car full of elementary school kids. Humph! Oh well, I may be insane, but I find such weekends exhilarating and peaceful in their own unique way. I will be with my boss and with my daughter and a handful of other children who attend our church. I hope that they take away from the experience as much as I always seem to. Keep us in your prayers!