For My Daughter
Dear Sydney,
When I went to bed last night it was full of anticipation, full of worry, yet also full of hope. On this your birthday I have soooo much hope. Hope for you and hope as we swear in the first female vice president of our nation. I am relieved that my worst fears of violence and division did not materialize in our country's inauguration this morning.
I am not one to be overly worried about appearances, but today I got dressed carefully thinking not only of the job to which I go serving a congregation following a call from God, but also planning carefully each item and how I have become privileged to have the freedoms to go through the motions of each piece of my attire by those brave women who have come before us.
I remember the words of Galatians 3:26-28 "for in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus."
I could give you no better birthday present than VP Kamala Harris being sworn in, but remember with each item I wear - remember:
The converse - you don't have to wear heels to lead well nor man-like business shoes. You pick my daughter, you pick the shoes that are right for where you want to walk.
The white pant suit - women belong in seats of power, and while we adapted the man's business suit to ourselves, we own it. Own your clothes - speak through your suit. 1 Thessalonians 5: "put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation." White because you are unique and don't need to bow to tradition but can go forth showing God's love to the world. It can be pants, leggings and sweats, or a skirt, or whatever - the clothes speak but don't alone define or restrict who or what you can become.
I wore my collar today to remember all the women who have come before me in ministry upon whose shoulders I stand to follow this wonderful, weird messy calling. May you remember those who paved the way so you too could follow your dreams, passion and calling.
I put on the makeup. Even when I hid it behind a mask to show my love for my brothers and sisters I might encounter. I even finished it off with lipstick that would be hidden just because it felt pretty.
And then I donned the trappings of the pearls that I would not normally pair with the ministry collar. This went against the grain because they don't mix, but it was to remind me that our life roles don't so neatly separate. The pearls help me remember I can be a 'genteel lady' and a 'powerful woman' at the same time as complex and tricky as that might be before the world.
That entails good and bad. I remember the privilege that we have. Never take this for granted or abuse positions given or gained and don't let power blind you to those in need. Don't forget, even as we celebrate, there are those we need to use our voices to speak up for and reach out to so that we continue to pave the road to a day of equality and justice for all God's little girls.
With the pearls, I remember the past requirements of our place in society as a decoration, but I also dressed up today for me - just for me because in pandemic times nobody else would see me 'in person' today. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you need to smile or be anything other than your genuine self because God loves you as you are even with resting bitch face, grumpy mode or a shining smile. It was my choice what to wear - what a gift! I dressed up for me in pearls my sister strung together for my mother, wearing her necklace to watch the online inauguration of a woman.
Finally, to remember that I am human, I wore my Garmin running watch to remind me to put in the steps - the work necessary to get the jobs to which I am called down. Work is required, but the watch also reminds me when I need the rest - take time for you to balance the work needed with the rest and the play. On my other wrist sits my Embr Wave. Yup - it is the old woman adornment to manage hot flashes.
Aging is not something our society speaks on well. We push it to the side, but hot flashes are as much a part of being a woman as all the other trappings. It is a stage of life and reminds us of our mortality. Make the most of all the time we have on earth. Our time together is a gift from God made all the better by the many women who scrapped and fought for our rights and equality - from the matriarchs of the Bible to the matriarchs in our family to all those beautiful women on stage in our nation this inaugural day.
We as women and children of God have work to do continuing this strong legacy of working for a world that is better for all the girls, but inch by inch we continue to dream and have hope. Go forth in hope celebrating the wonder and glory of this day that God has made. Happy birthday to you - my compassionate, intelligent, strong daughter! You go girl!!
All my love,
Mom
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